When planning a wedding, it takes the same amount of time and energy to plan a fancy or casual one.
Whether the napkins you’ll use are made of paper or of silk flown in from France, you’ve still got to choose which ones you are using. Serving french fries or filet, wearring couture or a simple vintage dress you bought at a second hand shop, it takes the same amount of time to find, plan and secure it.
NO ONE cares as much about your wedding or wedding planning as you do! Except maybe your mom
You may see your coworkers subtly roll their eyes as you drone on about the virtues of fondant or buttercream, talk about a band or a DJ, or the different flowers in season. Yeah! I bet you’re guilty. Just knowing this may help you to be a bit more thoughtful and ask if they could help you make a decision before suddenly talking about wedding stuff. Of course your mom and MOH will be there to help and hear all about your ideas!
You may randomly stress or happy cry over the silliest things
Kinda like pregnancy, you may feel a bit mushy during wedding planning. It’s a day you may have been thinking about for years or you may be so excited about the thought of marrying your best friend, that happiness may suddenly bubble up and spill a tear or two or 10,000. It’s really a normal part of wedding planning that most brides don’t even think about. It could take you by surprise.
You will have at least once unexpected expense pop up during the wedding planning
It’s like construction projects, they never finish on time or under budget. Wedding planning is no different. PLAN on going over your wedding budget no matter how well you plan. Sudden expenses that you never thought about will pop up and it’s almost always an expense that you have to pay (kinda like taxes). Here’s some good advice that I got and give to my couples (and adult children during their wedding planning). Take 10% of your budget and put it in a savings account OR under spend on each area of your budget by 10%. Either way, you’ll be prepared and save yourself some stress.
You will most likely end up in an argument (or 2 or 10) with the love of your life
The couples who never argue will have the hardest time during this wedding planning season. That’s because it will be a shock. Life is like this. When you have stressful moments, you have less bandwidth to deal with things that go wrong and that is why arguments happen. If you and your fiance haven’t had any arguments or stressful moments, you may not have disagreed or argued. Wedding planning will test you and your fiance like nothing else before. And he’s some figure advice, when you have kids, the same thing happens until you adjust to your new life.
So, when an argument happens, take a really deep breath and count to 10. The simple act of doing that will give you a little mental space. You can always take a short time out and go somewhere by yourself to think. “Wedding planning arguments” typically have nothing to do with what you may be arguing about. So dig deep inside to see why you are upset or unhappy about and talk about that instead.
Here’s an example. A billion years ago when my husband and I were planning my wedding, we started arguing at our cake tasting. But what we were really stressed or frustrated about was the budget and the money we were spending. We got through the arguments and shaved the budget down to where we were comfortable and we had the BEST wedding ever! You will too! AND, you’ll learn how to argue in a healthy way for years to come.
Your Fiance won’t care about something that you think he will AND he will care about something that you didn’t think he will (very inconvenient I know)
Now your fiance may be different, but in general, most men are not exactly excited about the wedding planning. They are interested in marrying YOU!
From planning the menu (shrug) to picking the music (yawn), your guy’s uninterested reactions even to the “fun stuff” might catch you off guard and may cause one of those arguments mentioned in a tip above.
First, take a chill pill and don’t be upset. My advice is to ask him during the budget planning process after engagement, what he would like to help with. What 2-3 areas will he take care of? Then, (this is hard), let him do it. Let him have full control. REALLY!
I’d love to hear what you think!
I’d love for you to comment below on what you thought about these tips and let me know if I left anything out. I’d love to update this blog if you have a good idea!!
7 on 7 Project
As many of you know, I am involved with a fabulous group of photographers. This is a chance to read and learn about different photographers from around the world, as they share their images in a blog post.
Read below about my friend Kris of Kris McNeil Photography. She always has gorgeous images and I confess, I can’t wait to see what she posts this month!. I’d love to invite you to read my friend Kris’ blog post here.